I like sports. I enjoy watching the celebrations when someone scores a goal, makes a basket, completes a try, hits a hole, races across the finish line.
I like the passion with which people lift their hands, thump chests, raise fists. I like seeing the hugs and kisses, the flying confetti and fireworks, the champagne. I like listening to the screams of success and watching the tears of winning for the winning team. I like watching people celebrate their achievements.
I’m excited when I see people posting pictures of their relationship anniversaries or their business progress. I’m happy when I see photos of people celebrating their children, celebrating a new car they’ve bought or moving to a new house. I live for those feel-good moments.
But I don’t celebrate much of the successes that have come my way. When mum organised a graduation party for me when I completed uni, I asked her why she was doing it. I told her she didn’t have to. It wasn’t necessary, I thought. I was okay going to Freedom Square at Makerere University on the day of graduation and heading back home for a meal with family. Simple. I didn’t think getting an undergrad was a big thing. Mum insisted it was worth celebrating. I shrugged and let her proceed. I enjoyed that day.
I didn’t celebrate when I got my first job at 19. Neither did I celebrate much when I got my other jobs after completing uni, including the one I currently have. I didn’t celebrate much when I was selected to the first cohort of the YALI Regional Leadership Centre East Africa. I felt an internal excitement but I didn’t pour it out.
When I made it to serve on the Millennial Board of the firm I worked for, working with a lovely group of fellow employees from across Africa on a project sponsored by the deputy CEO of the company, flying to Johannesburg every two or so months, I was elated but I didn’t think much of it. It felt normal.
When I made it to the Fellowship that brought me to Germany, my eyes let out some tears. My two workmates, both of whom are called Carol, celebrated that achievement more than I did. One Carol brought me grilled pork and cheered me on. The other Carol got me a scarf. I had a number of other friends who were happy for me but I didn’t think too deeply about it.
I always thank God and I’m grateful for the opportunities but I don’t feel the oomph to enjoy the moment beyond the surface. I don’t know if that’s a problem.
Oh yeah, the only time I remember celebrating something was on July 26, 2015. I was in Kasarani. President Obama was there. He jogged up the stage, waved to the audience, his trophy ears large and his smile setting a template for joy. The cheer of people in that stadium, the persona of Obama, the presence of the President, oh my God! That presence felt like a skyline beyond a mountainous horizon. I wanted that moment stuck in my mind.
When I told someone how lucky and blessed I felt because of that event, being in the presence of President Obama, he asked if that experience came with a job offer, or money or an opportunity bigger than just the joy I felt. He down played my excitement. He didn’t think it was a big deal. And so, I went back to default settings of keeping quiet about the things that happen in my life.
See, I’ve been looking for a new apartment. Almost two months of the search. I dug through an app for apartments. I wrote emails and sent messages to landlords. I got no’s, maybe’s, sorry’s and sometimes no response. I also said one no.
As I continued my search for a new place, everyday felt like a fight in a dream you can’t wake up from. The houses were either too expensive or didn’t match what I was looking for. If they matched what I wanted, I probably wasn’t the right fit for the landlord or someone beat me to paying their deposit and signing the rental contract.
This search felt like a struggle with falling rocks and a race against time. If I didn’t find a new place quickly, there would be two possibilities; remain in the apartment I had and pay rent that would leave a septic tank in my bank account or be homeless in a foreign country.
I found a place. When the keys to the house were handed to me yesterday – a moment worth celebrating – I went back to default mode. I said a silent prayer of gratitude and that was it. I wish I could celebrate it in a better way but I don’t know how.
Maybe it’s because you win some and lose some. You get some and miss some. Life continues.
Well I don’t think you have a problem. I have come to embrace the fact that in life, we’re different. When some people get good news, the whole village, social media and everyone will know because their excitement will be all over the place, while there are people who will just remain placid whether they’ve just won 5 million dollars. I’ve been chastised quite a number of times for being “just there” after receiving good news but sometimes when you’re the owner of the good news, it becomes normal. But again, in life we’re different.
That’s right. We really are different. We’ve got to embrace these differences and be fine with them. We have diverse approaches to sharing our joy.
I never celebrate anything too
Turns out I’m not alone. We are normal people afterall.
Wow. I’m starstruck at all your achievements. I nearly said it was a guy-thing (looking at the post and the comments) but as a woman, I also don’t celebrate my achievements that much. I’m mostly quiet about them till they become normal. It could be temperamental.
Thank you. I think it’s temperamental too. I’m learning that we should be celebrating our achievements always, however small they might seem.
I really also celebrate my achievements as always being a quiet person.
Sometimes it feels like a personality thing. Start celebrating in whatever way you can.
The matter in which you celebrate shouldn’t matter at all, a celebration of wins; small or big is absolutely crucial. It energizes you to keep pushing. I think that sometimes we downplay our hard work and effort and I still don’t know why. It should be a rule of thumb to celebrate every thing, big and small in whatever way you see fit.
We downplay some of the achievements sometimes because of the fear of appearing as though we are bragging. That shouldn’t be the case.
Wow! Just wow! You deserve like a massive celebration for all the behind the scenes of all these grand achievements. Aye, just celebrate your own way especially for that apartment find, you have to man
Thanks Duchess. I will celebrate.
Well to celebrate we dont need a load of people we barely know and sometimes tapping yourself on the back is how you know how and congratulations on finally acquiring the new apartment
That couldn’t go unnoticed.
Thank you, Connie. A simple tap on the back can actually do the job. As you’ve mentioned, celebrating doesn’t have to be elaborate.
Wow. Just wow Ernst.
I feel you on this one. Some wins humble you and all you do is say a prayer of gratitude.
A big congratulations on all your wins
Thank you so much, Gulf.