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Author: Ernest Tuape

Nana from Ghana

Posted on April 10, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

6:50am: I’m seated at the Gate 24 waiting lounge at JKIA. The amber colour of the sun is rising above the airport roof adjacent to where I am. A woman with a West African accent seems raved up about something. It’s got to do with her boarding pass? I can’t quite get what that is…

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Blowin’ dogs, rabbits and pigeons

Posted on April 3, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

I’m getting distracted by one of our guard dogs. Goodness! It isn’t giving me a break. It’s sniffing at my fingers and toes. Its jaws are open, pink tongue out as though it wants to lick my skin off. Does it think I stole its meat? Com’on, I wouldn’t do that. Why would I steal?…

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Don’t Ask Me Why

Posted on March 27, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

It was the night before the day I got a call from the dentist’s office. My phone vibrated. A WhatsApp message had come in. The gentle sound of the waterfall at my place felt like a massage on my back, easing my muscles and causing my eyes to go into a natural position of sleep….

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Flirting with Formula One

Posted on March 20, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

The plan was simple. I would wake up, pick my laptop, type out a draft story for this blog, brush my teeth, take a bath, dress up and go to church. And the rest of Sunday would unveil itself whatever way it wanted until sunset. The first part went as planned. I woke up. Then…

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Tulambule Murchison Falls

Posted on March 13, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

Here’s how I’ll get there. My extended family and I will set off from our home town Pakwach at about midday on a 33 degree Celsius day. It is the Christmas holiday season. Rasta man Johnnie will drive us across the bridge that connects West Nile to the rest of Uganda. Johnnie has wild beards….

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Uhuru: The Dwelling of Pilau

Posted on March 6, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

My colleague at work, Emma, is driving us in his cream Toyota RunX car. Its seats are pimped with artsy custom made covers. Multi-coloured, smooth on the palm and masseuse-que to the butts. I think he invited a car-seat transformation expert to come over and take measurements. He told the guy, “Boss, do your thing.”…

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I remember

Posted on February 27, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

For most of my primary school holidays, I’d go to my hometown Pakwach. I loved it. Spending time with my folks over there made for a perfect childhood. My friends and I would climb cashew trees. I always aimed for the juiciest yellow fruit that hung by an unlikely twig. It was a daring attempt,…

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A man like Andrew

Posted on February 20, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

When I think about admirable youthful men, I think about Andrew, my handy and benevolent brother in-law. I sent him a WhatsApp a few weeks ago. I said, “Boss, I had a root canal. I can now take your offer of a beer.” He responded with, “Chief, that’s great to know.” I wasn’t sure if…

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Unsure

Posted on February 13, 2019June 12, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

I know. I’m silly a lot of times and I write some utterly stupid lines that make no sense like some of what you’re about to read. I don’t set out to put down such ridiculous words but look, here’s the thing. I’m shaking in my pants right now, holding in a fart that’s making…

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January and Books

Posted on February 6, 2019June 11, 2019 by Ernest Tuape

January didn’t creep in like a thief on a rainy night. It didn’t sneak in. It walked in through the open door left by 31 December. It carried with it its reputation that stinks of poverty and brokenness, a repute of a ruthless rebel leader who maims and slaughters his victims using such ferocious methods…

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